booby escapades

So, yesterday I'm playing with my kid all over the living room, i run after him he runs after me and this goes on for like 30 minutes... suddenly, i get on all fours and start to crawl after my little man and bark and have a great time.. and then it happens.. 
my BOOB fell out of my tank top, and I didn't even notice, BUT GUESS WHO DID? my son, and he just went for it and yanked it! lol.. and he thought it was the funniest thing on earth, and I laughed so hard... and we both laughed like crazy people.. and then i started to laugh hysterically as I looked at his two little pearly whites shinning through his gummy smile.. 
I realized in that very instant, that boobs are just BOOBS! they should not be taken so seriously. so we just kept on laughing.   

postpartum body Blues

The birth of my son is by far the most miraculous and amazing experience of my life, but preceding the most wonderful experience of my life, was also the most shameful reality. The first time I decided to look at my naked body following the birth of my son was a truly traumatizing experience, though I have been told numerous times, by endless people that it is natural to feel that way and to feel so ashamed, embarrassed, and down-right ugly. This isn’t one of those sappy, feel-good articles with a happy ending…this is a real description of the emotional rollercoaster my physical appearance has taken on me these past 9 months. My son brings infinite joy to my life each minute of every day, and although I have not felt depressed in any way because of motherhood, all of the contrary, I have felt nearly suicidal due to my twisted body image. I knew stretch marks, cellulite, loose skin, and blotches were all to be expected, but hell who am I lying to? I never expected it to happen to me. Particularly, because my mother had 4 children and doesn’t have a single stretch mark on her body and my grandmother, get ready for this, had 10 and has immaculate, YES immaculate, evenly toned GORGEOUS skin! So, why me? I was the girl that wore string bikinis to the beach, and tight little short shirts.. My breasts, GOD!! MY BREASTS!!! (I am not saying that in a good way) were never perky, flash-worthy tatas, but they were ok. NOW, HOLLY BANANAS! Lets just say that they have decided to head south like a flock of geese facing an impending winter. Anyway, the day I decided to take a good hard look at myself in the mirror, I was about 5 wks. Post partum, I looked and looked, thinking  that I was looking at some 60 year old grandma’s body, I got stretch marks in places that I never thought stretch marks were even possible. Yes! RIGHT THERE were your thinking!! And, oh how I cried… It took me 3 months to even bring myself to have sex with my husband (fully clothed too, and all lights out!) I wouldn’t let him touch me, unless absolutely necessary.  lets just say, I am sure he is traumatized now too.  I felt so bad for him that 1 day I decided to put something sexy on (about 18 weeks post partum) and was so humiliated at the sight of myself in pink lace with ruffles on that I sobbed for about 1 hour in the privacy of my bedroom floor. My husband finally got concerned I was taking forever, went in and comforted me, he reassured me that every little line was beautiful to him because it reminds him of the sacrifice I made to bring our gorgeous (and yes, he is gorgeous) son into the world. I appreciate his good intentions, BUT WHATEVER!!!! Who is he trying to fool?! Then you hear the story of how it takes 9 months to put weight on and that it will take about 9 months to get it off… ITS BEEN 9 MONTHS!!! Lol... I have come to terms with my stomach and whenever I am miserable about my appearance, I just remind myself of those women that would give up their right arm to have a shot at mommy-hood, stretch marks and all,  and for that I am thankful! It is difficult to go from a size 5/6 to a size 12 in such a short period of time, to find that you cant lift your arms to reach something on the top shelf at a supermarket because you are too embarrassed someone might get a glimpse of your torn stomach, to look down at your chest and see deflated balloons in place of breasts, and above all to find yourself in a complete physical rut. You want to do something about it, you have the energy and the desire, but you lack the courage, because at the end of the day…no amount of gym or diet will change the stretched, scarred skin, and the sad breasts.   
So, I have stopped complaining and started to be thankful for all of the good things I have. I decided to exercise in my home because it might not take away stretch marks, but it will give me a longer life so I can take care of my son. Most importantly, I decided to pray, because it stirs my heart away from vanity and helps me focus on me and the important things. Though, I didn’t find the magical cure for looking like poo, I have begun to accept me as I am. THIS BODY is MAGICAL! It can procreate and give life, and nourish and hold my son and take care of him. So, Ill hold on to that….if nothing else, ill resort to plastic surgery! Lol.. 

BIG PLANS, BIG CHANGES!

It seems that life is always throwing curve balls here and there, some you hit, some you miss and some you hit right out of the park. We are hoping that the many changes taking place in our life at this moment are definitely a Homer! My husband and I might be moving to the Dominican Republic, (its all up to God at this point) we are hoping to embark on an adventure of self-growth, new opportunities and stability (something hard to get on a military lifestyle).  My father in law was awesome enough to hook us up with a pretty great apartment over there, its all ours to do with it as we please, and I couldn't be any more excited. Its really gorgeous, but needs lots of little changes to make it our own. I was checking out Sherry over at Young House Love (love her blog) and saw her mood boards...they are AWESOME! so, i decided to work on one of my own for my new Living Room. Here it is, tell me what you think.  Ill post the other ones as i make them (for the kitchen, bedroom, nursery, etc) 

MY BABY BOY'S NURSERY

My little boy's nursery is something I had GIANT ideas for; I started on it, but this whole military life hasn't allowed me to quite get it all done. The uncertainty of moving in a few months, after only being here 4 months, has kept me from making my home pretty and taking the time to put the final touches on the baby's room. To me, my baby's nursery was right up there with dreaming of my wedding day...well, I had to cancel my wedding, (3 years later my dress is still hanging in the closet untouched) and ended up having a local judge marry us in Biloxi, MS under a 100 year old tree (SANS DRESS). Now, I have to hold of on my nursery too. (yes, I am pouting and stomping my feet) Nonetheless, I am hopeful. It appears that fate is inclining us to take a new direction, and we are listening to her...then we may very well stay in one place for longer than 2 years, and I will get to have my own place. Within my limitations, I have managed to do a few things for the nursery though...I painted that little bird over the lamp (RANDOM THOUGHT:  I am thinking of painting kids' pictures and selling them on etsy) I wanted to do a cute, colorful, animal-filled room that doesn't feel overwhelming or crowded. 
here are a few pictures of the things I have done with the nursery: 

 My little thrift store monkey hanging from the lamp

 I got these adorable farm animal bookends from a consignment sale

 These gorgeous little gators are from a thrift store

Cocalo Alphabet Soup bedding

These little wooden cutout animals are from walmart, they were .49cents each. I stuck them to the ends of the finials

Ikea Mobile

I got the rocking chair on Craigslist for $20...I love CL!

Dollar tree frames with dollar tree animals

10 things about me not many people know

I found this game on Louandjane's blog (super cute btw) and thought it would be fun to play along.

10 things you may not know about me...

1. I am crazy about my son

2. I am OBSESSED with thrifting (its like therapy to me)

3. I love to cook, and eat just about ANYTHING...

4. I too believe that there is no greater calling in life than motherhood.

5. Crafting is my third favorite pastime.

6. I have a bachelor's degree, and was a total nerd in HS,

but I only dream of being a Stay at home mom.

7. I learned to swim at age 26.

8. I do not believe in religion, though i believe in God.

9. I have the heart of a hippie

10. I wish I could sew my own clothes.

Babies grow way too fast

My son is a big boy for his age... he is 6 months old, 21lbs(last time we checked) and 28 inches long...and already wears a very fitted size 12 months. He has gone through a gazillion onesies and PJs since he was born (I have two HUGE totes full of 'em to prove it), and quite frankly this whole onesie business is gonna break the bank. So, I heard something about a ONESIE EXTENDER... looked around the net, found some but I do not feel like spending 10$ on 3 of those things. So, i did a little research for a tutorial and cant find that either.(if anyone has one please send it my way) I have decided to make a tutorial myself... WEEKEND PROJECT COMING UP! I will definitely put up pictures and try to be as detailed as possible. I am currently working on the details...

now, onto the PJs... those footed pajamas are excellent, HOWEVER, my kid's feet are all squished inside of it. Many of them he technically still fits into except for the length (mainly because of the feet) and I wanted a tutorial for removing them and maybe adding something to them.. I think i might have to work on that one too. Well, check me out Sunday night... ill have my tutorial up by then.

IM BACK!

Well, its been a while since the last time I wrote. In the past year i had an absolutely PERFECT, GORGEOUS, HAPPY baby boy. He is 6 months now and just AMAZES me a little more each minute of each day. I whinned a lot a while back about needing adventures, travel, excitement... WELL PEOPLE, I GOT IT!! and, its MORE than i could have ever asked for. I have honestly never known love, until i met my son for the first time. He took my breath away. After 2 hours and 43 minutes of active labor (pushing) he was born, a perfect 8lbs 1oz. He is the happiest, silliest, FUn-loving kid EVER and he has helped me find who I am... a mommy.


I have been thrifting a LOT lately.. its like therapy for me! and of course, cant say enough about my dollar stores. :O) LOVE THEM!

I actually found this awesome tutorial over at dollarstorecrafts' blog.... for making hurricanes for 2$ (they look great!) I think thats a project for next weekend!

WEll, bloggers, ill be here! looking forward to writing for you.

We are Expecting!

My husband and I found out 8 wks ago that we are expecting...WE are so umbelievably excited. After trying for about 6 months (which were really like 2 since he was sent away 3 times during our attempts) we finally have a baby on the way. My poor husband freaked out in the great way, and then reality struck him hard.. the poor guy had to call his parents for reassurance to ask them if they think he will be a good dad...well babe, You are going to be a GREAT DAD!!! i have never seen a man more concerned, excited, attentive and happy about his baby. He sings to our little beans, and talks to him/her and kisses the tummy in the morning and at night... I couldnt have picked a better daddy to be. I love you babe!!Though i must say that I HATE all of those pregnant women that are constantly talking about the magic of pregnancy and how great they felt, and how much they loved it... I AM NOT A GRACEFUL EXPECTANT MOTHER AT ALL!!!!!! I have been sick everyday since before I found i was pregnant and finally at 13 wks its begun to ease up during the day, but yesterday it was serious; projectile puke and all!! it got all over the walls, the floors, everywere EXCEPT the toilet. lol.. NOT COOL when I had a steak sandwich for lunch.

anyway, we have seen the bean twice and heard its little heart beat and daddy even has pics all over his office. Everyone thinks its a girl, but Im clueless.. Whatever you are, I LOVE YOU BEAN!!!!

Christmas is knocking on my door

I LOVE TO DECORATE FOR CHRISTMAS! I have been waiting all year for this moment, the moment were you get all of your christmas decorations out and start to make your home merry and bright. I love the way everything looks, It is very cheerful and lit up.

My husband, or the grinch, as I like to call him even got into the christmas spirit and decided to put up 3 whole ornaments (all special ones) and that made me a very happy woman.

so, I am officially in the hot cocoa, candy canes, presents and ligths kinda mood and I just cant wait. Though this is a pretty poor christmas (financially,) it is a very exciting one too due to the fact that I am making the best presents ever by taking time to make something special for each person I love. Is there anything better? I dont think so!

well..here is a little glimpse of my own little christmas wonderland. ENjoY!

Fantabulous Dinner!

It was a great Thanksgiving, and I am very proud of ME! I found some great recipes, followed through and the results spoke for themselves...Empty Plates! I had/have a lot to be thankful for this thanksgiving. I am thankful for my family (my brother came to spend Turkey day with me), my new friends, my old ones and most importantly how much my husband and I have grown together this year. Its amazing how fast things change and how much happier you can be when you accept the wonderful things life has given you. I am very thankful and very blessed.

My hubby kept on thanking me for a job well done and for being such a great host to our group of 14. We gave thanks before having our dinner and each took a turn saying why we were thankful and my husband said he was most thankful for me and that made my day, my week and I think even the rest of my year. I love this man.

Well, I didnt take that many pics because we were having such a nice time that we completely overlooked the camera. But, i do have a few pics that I will add to this post as soon as my camera battery loads.


Hope you all had a very loving, filling and thankful thanksgiving!

btw, WENT TO JOANN's Black Friday morning after only 4 hours of sleep and got a hold of great cuddle flannel fabrics for 28$...It was only 1.49$ per yard and I just couldnt pass that up, so I saved (according to my receipt) 99$ IM SOOOO EXCITED!!!

Cant wait to post pics of the burp cloths, bibs and taggies that I am planning to make with my gorgeous finds!! :O)

here they are: the Mumm fabric with big flowers and the paisley are for Nursing Covers for my sis in law and my cousin

Woo Hoo for Turkey Day!

I am super thrilled for Thanksgiving, for the first time I get to host Thanksgiving dinner at my place and I am completely ecstatic. My husband came home about 5 days ago from work and says to me that this year he is craving a traditional American menu for Turkey day and I WAS SIMPLY THRILLED. I mean, I LOVE my Spanish food but we are going to cook a traditional spanish holiday menu for Christmas and again for New years' Eve so I NEED A BREAK! I found this fantastic sounding recipe for stuffing on www.Allrecipes.com and I cant wait to make it along with this Double layer Pumpkin Cheesecake which I am making ahead of time today.

I just finished seasoning and buttering up my Turkey and Im going to try the paperbag method. I have heard lots of great things about it.

we invited some friends and they are bringing a pineapple and cherry ham and some yams. Someone else is bringing over some liquor to make some Turkey day Caipirinhias (brazilian drink that my hubby loves)

Well, HAVE A HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!!! Show me your turkey day menu pics. :O)
Anyway, I will definitely post some pics of my very first TURKEY DAY!

"When you have a hundred reasons to give up..."

 "When you have a hundred reasons to give up..."

The dreaded question, “Who am I?” Philosophically speaking, I am the person that will say,  "When you have a hundred reasons to give up...you only need one to keep fighting." In my real life, that has applied numerous times. I don’t like to give up on the things that matter; however, oftentimes, I find that it is difficult for me to focus and finish what I start. I have stories, like most everyone in the world; I have good and bad stories, happy and sad stories, and painful and joyful stories. All of these stories have added to my life, and those I thought took away from it -the ones that hurt to the very core- well, they were the stories that have truly and deeply carved at my very soul to create me.

You see, I am a lover of people, life, smiles, simplicity, sunshine, warm weather, food, love, my kids, and my family (even though they are all nuts or drive me nuts, but hey the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree they say). Its not all love this, like that. I cry, I ache, I question myself, I doubt and albeit many have come to compliment my intelligence, I have never felt very bright. Self doubt, my fatal flaw, my hamartia.

According to the story of my life, some would say that I am a professional dreamer and eternal leaf in the wind kind of soul. I like many things, want to do many things, but seldom am passionate enough about 1 to see it through.

Growing up I always had two identities, my own and the rest of the world around me’s version of me. I am light skinned, with freckles, green eyes and born to Dominican parents in New Jersey. I have never had a strong Spanish accent, and to my Spanish counterparts, I sound like a “gringa”. There were many aspects of my latino culture I embraced and identified with, and many I didn’t. The same is also true for my American culture as well. Who I am is a little bit of everything. 

I decided to embark on the madness that is blogging precisely because I believe many people might find themselves with the same thoughts, questions, curiosities, insecurities as I do, but have no voice. 

ON A BABY PLAN!

My husband and I have decided on a baby plan. YOu might be like "What?!" well, we sat down and discussed when would be the best time to start trying for a family. SO, we came up with this plan because i want to stay home with the baby for a year and with grad school and his moving up quick at work, it just seems like a lot, But a baby is the most important thing. So, we are going to SAVE SAVE SAVE $$$$. That means that I have to get a fulltime job with some steady income. WILL DO! My pay as a substitute teacher isnt cutting it right now. I have also been working real hard at home learning to sew some pretty cute things. I have to put together some tutorials. I am trying to perfect a couple of pieces because Im thinking this would be a good source of side income. :) I cant wait to post some pics of the toddler aprons, bibs, mini burp cloths, and taggies i have made along with some super cute ballerina ragdolls.

ok, after a long day of school, cleaning, crafting and lounging around I am ready to hit the sack! Nite nite!!

good weekend

this was a really good weekend, went out with some friends to the Neptune Festival and had a fabulous dinner at Catch31. We had a few drinks, laughed a little and overall had a good time. Then today my husband invited some friends over and I cooked for them, then we played some Wii and had a pretty nice time, but I AM EXHAUSTED!

My nephew turned 3 today and when I asked him how old he is his reply is "10" i said no your not, you are "3" and he goes " I KNOW, BUT I WANT TO BE 10" so we all laughed and had a good time. I made him a cute painting of a Giraffe for his room and a frame with his name to match. Then i bought him some Mega blocks made of wood and some flashcards and stuff just so he has lots of things to open and enjoy himself.

here are some pics of the Giraffe and frame.

Its Raining, Its pouring, the Old man is snoring...

I Finally slept good last night, probably because I know that my husband comes home tomorrow night. When he isnt here I cant sleep, I think the bed feels too big and empty. its been raining all morning and its nice to have a day like that once in a while, Im gonna go and rent sex in the city or maybe ill make something.

Im gonna go and make myself some breakfast, maybe a nice big breakfast as a treat.

Things I LOVE

ok, so today was just another day in which i ran some errands, went to the gym and did things around the house. I saw a beautiful sunset today that made me think about some of my favorite things and I though "Hey! Why not share them!?"

so... I LOVE:

Sunsets * Walks in the park when the leaves start to change * dulce de leche ice cream * Sledding * cooking something great after buying all of the ingredients * walking through a market * Thrift Stores * flowers * Photography * my nephews' saying I love you * dancing all night * breakfast in bed * puppies * India (though I have never been there) * mint chocolate chip ice cream with magic shell chocolate on top and whip cream on the side * scented candles * making up my own sewing patterns with newspaper and then sewing with them * Dominican Birthday Cake * walking barefoot (especially on grass) * singing out loud in my car and making believe the steering wheel is a drum * my bicycle's basket * hiking * sappy movies that make me cry * Israel Kamawiwole's version of somewhere over the rainbow * 80's Music * fruity pebbles * a slice of NY cheese pizza * a downtown manhattan hot Dog with EVERYTHING on top * Friends (the tv show) * college memories (jeje) * being an RA/CA * SPRING TIME * hearing little kids laugh out loud * catching up with my best friend after not talking for a while and feeling like we were never away from eachother * my brothers and sisters * Seeing my mother happy * when my brother sings me * My mother's sancocho * my dad's bald head (weird, i know, but i think its cute) * crochet * medical shows * Bollywood films * staring at the stars * traveling * laying on a hammock on a beach under a palm tree * Bon Fires with friends and music * BBQs * christmas presents * cooking for friends ...

Sunset over Virginia Beach

sooo much more I dont think I can go on...:o)

I also made a cowl neck scarf with a coconut button today and here is a pic..hope you like. I made the whole body with double stiches and then closed the sides with a picot stich.

another day..

just here, doing NADA! I made a shopping cart cover for my make believe baby..lol... it came out real cute. I rented Made of Honor and am gonna chill out and watch that. Tomorrow I have to get serious and study for the teacher workshop Im attending on Tuesday (wish me luck) im sure that they are going to ask me some serious questions and there is nothing worse than an unprepared teacher..what an example would that be?!?!

so, Im taking the whole day tomorrow to catch up and make sure I dont studder...

it was a never-ending dull day today, not to mention its 7pm and I still havent taken a shower-talk about lazy!?!I will right before i go to sleep though.

anyway, back to the shopping cart cover..its super cute, I'll photograph it tommorrow. I took the measurements from one of the carts at walmart and made my own pattern with newspaper. It looks great!

im needing some travel therapy

its 1:53am and I cant sleep, im restless...I was going to start sewing one of those really fun tag blankies, but I realiezed that I am restless because of this insane desire to travel inside of me. I was born to see the world and the most i have seen these past 3 years is freakin MISSISSIPPI..EXACTLY!!!!! how depressing is that?! not to mention, borderline pathethic. anywho... I really am craving something colorful, exotic, with fantastic outdoor markets and FOOD..something like India, turkey, tuscany.

SHEESH! I want to see SOMETHING NEW...My husband is getting so BORING. God, I am craving some serious travel adventure. Skydiving, hang gliding...SOEMTHING!!! I AM NOT A DULL SOUL, I DONT HAVE A DULL HAIR IN ME!!!!! Im gonna have to shock this man into seeing new things. Lol...

Where can we go? what can we do??!!! Im so desperate ill take something fun locally...lol.. Hiking, camping, caves...SOMETHNG!!

I think im going to make my own halloween costume...maybe rainbow bright..lol.. (this is my random thought of the day):O)

Super Excited!

OK, after 12 attempts to make a tittle for my blog I FINALLY made one I LOVE!~

I wanted something colorful, vibrant, full of life and that didn't limit my blog to just one idea. I WANT IT ALL!!

Anyhow, I made a rag doll last night (2 am and couldn't sleep). I found the pattern for the black apple dolls online and loved them, they are so cute...so, I printed, cut, sewed and VOILA! here is "Little Suzie Homemaker" lol.. i thought that was just too cute to pass up.. check out her little apron. Anyway, i loved her so much that I decided to make a whole family. Im going to make a dad and brother and sister as well as a pet. Ill post those as soon as they are here. I figure that it would be fun to save these and play with my future kids someday. I have this great idea for a rag doll that you can dress up (like the paper dolls we used to have as kids) I have to come up with a pattern and Im thinking VELcro to easily attach the clothes.

ENJOY 

BLOGGING VIRGIN

Hi Bloggers!

I dont even know what prompted me to start this blog to be quite frank; I dont know if its loneliness, mere desperation or a sad medley of both. Whatever it is that has lead me here is giving me a voice; one that i really need right now. I am in place in my life where i feel the weakest, the most vulnerable, the most defragmented and dissected. I feel like I am inside a kaleidoscope that is in black and white. I am 26 married, a professional without a profession, an individual that has gotten lost amongst herself. Have you ever felt that way? like you are completely powerless and alone, even if you know deep in your heart that life is still filled with so much to see and do and LIVE?

Dont get me wrong, Im not suicidal...Im just in a rut, sad- EVERYTHING that I have never been, I AM. I am becoming this new version of me that I dont like very much to be honest.

I have always been the black sheep in my family, but in a great way. I have always been the silly, happy go-lucky person that sees the glass half full, colors hidden everywhere, a wold filled with endless possibilities, fairytales, and love stories. I have had to fight against myself on many occasions, to avoid falling into the genetic pool of depressed souls in my family. I always dreamt that my own life would be this fantastic story of passion, communion, adventure, sympathy, sinful joys, smiles, travel and simplistic pleasures....

I dont want to look back on my life and regret it, I dont want to be filled with cliched what ifs. I am ONLY 26 and stagnant. How do I tell my husband how I am feeling without him feeling like its his fault?

I had so many dreams, so many hopes, so many little things that I had hoped to fulfill by this time in my life...I thought that I would have a chance to fulfill those bits and pieces of my dreams with him. Dont get me wrong, my husband is this ball of fire and passion that stops at nothing to achieve his goals. He knows what he wants and nothing deters him from that. I, on the other hand, wish a little bit of him rubs off on me; I dont seem to want anything that badly right now. I need FOCUS!

I heard once that we are each as happy as we choose to be, if that is true, am I really choosing to be unhappy?! I am all about making memories, moments...experiencing new things and seeing the world. I have a sense of presence that goes beyond the right now. I want to see as much as I can in my life and have these wonderful stories to tell when im old...now i wonder if all im going to be able to talk about is how i have been doing nothing with my life and the only stories i will have are those from college-thats it! i cant be satisfied with that.

Were am I? What am I? I feel like this dragonfly caught in the mud, wings lush with colors ready to glisten in sun and yet they are too wet, too heavy to function. I will surely die stuck in this mud, I will become a hollow carcass of my former self recognizable only by my impression in the mud.