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Sunday, November 16, 2008

"When you have a hundred reasons to give up..."

 "When you have a hundred reasons to give up..."

The dreaded question, “Who am I?” Philosophically speaking, I am the person that will say,  "When you have a hundred reasons to give only need one to keep fighting." In my real life, that has applied numerous times. I don’t like to give up on the things that matter; however, oftentimes, I find that it is difficult for me to focus and finish what I start. I have stories, like most everyone in the world; I have good and bad stories, happy and sad stories, and painful and joyful stories. All of these stories have added to my life, and those I thought took away from it -the ones that hurt to the very core- well, they were the stories that have truly and deeply carved at my very soul to create me.

You see, I am a lover of people, life, smiles, simplicity, sunshine, warm weather, food, love, my kids, and my family (even though they are all nuts or drive me nuts, but hey the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree they say). Its not all love this, like that. I cry, I ache, I question myself, I doubt and albeit many have come to compliment my intelligence, I have never felt very bright. Self doubt, my fatal flaw, my hamartia.

According to the story of my life, some would say that I am a professional dreamer and eternal leaf in the wind kind of soul. I like many things, want to do many things, but seldom am passionate enough about 1 to see it through.

Growing up I always had two identities, my own and the rest of the world around me’s version of me. I am light skinned, with freckles, green eyes and born to Dominican parents in New Jersey. I have never had a strong Spanish accent, and to my Spanish counterparts, I sound like a “gringa”. There were many aspects of my latino culture I embraced and identified with, and many I didn’t. The same is also true for my American culture as well. Who I am is a little bit of everything. 

I decided to embark on the madness that is blogging precisely because I believe many people might find themselves with the same thoughts, questions, curiosities, insecurities as I do, but have no voice. 

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